Wow....

Wow... that's about all I can say right now at this point. Wow.. it has been forever since I have written here... wow... a lot has happened in just 10 months.... wow... everything is constantly changing and right now, I'm hurting.
I really do not like distance... I don't like circumstances that I cannot change... I don't like not being in charge... It stinks. This whole long distance engagement has really started to take a toll on me. Its not negative as I want to quit now... but its really hard.
Job 6:10 - "But it is still my consolation, and I rejoice in unsparing pain, that I have not denied the words of the Holy One." When trials come your way - as inevitably they will - do not run away. Run to your God and Father.

All over... or is it?

Wow! I can't believe my 10 days in DC are over. I am kinda glad, cause I really miss all my friends at home. This trip has been very interesting and eye opening for me. A lot of topics were addressed that I didn't even think were topics needing to be addressed. We started off the week unable to agree on anything, debating over everything. The need to always be right was always present. As the week went on, it lessened and was definitely more bearable.
Going to all of the different ministry sites was very intriguing and finding out what they do and why they do it. We went to:

• N Street Village - for women only
• Community of Hope - mainly families
• Arlington Nazarene - partnered with others
• Gospel Rescue Mission - mostly men with a few women

We saw the liberal side where they focused on the physical side and not on the spiritual aspect and moved toward the conservative side where they were really focused on the spiritual side but still met the physical needs.
So now my goal is to figure out what the balance is. How do we not separate them and address them together. As we have been going through the week, a reoccurring question has been what is the gospel? Well, the gospel is good news. And good news to a homeless person is shelter. So how can we show/tell the good news to people.
Also what is the definition of church? Did we have church this week? We had food together, shared together, learned together, met together...
The homeless simulation was very interesting as well. I learned many stereo types that I have put on people. The church doesn't always give their best to the people in need. Why aren't we? Homeless also have other needs that we are not providing for. However, because we are not homeless, we think that we have all the answers for them... but we don't! We need to be in communication with them and in cooperation with other churches to figure out how we can really help.
So as I leave this trip, its not about what I thought for the moment, its how I apply it to my life and not forget it. So as I leave, I am thinking of these questions...
What is our specific call from God?
How do we show his love effectively?
Are our thoughts pre-conditioned by the way we were raised or by society? Are they necessarily right? Can we afford or even need to change them?

Homeless...

So today I was homeless in Washington DC. We started off the day around 7am and took the metro to a certain stop. We got off and went to this park area and we got some breakfast by some people from a church that drove by... tuna sandwiches, hard boiled egg, banana, and a cup of coffee. I wish that I liked tuna... haha :) Then we talked to Scott and he offered his own apt. for us to live in for 6 months or a year.. however long we needed. He also gave us an opportunity for a job. He started talking about his theology and church, which we didn't wholly agree with, but he was so sincere and kind to us.
Then we headed to another park and there was a line for food, we got the last of soup and I was given a blanket, coat, sweater, and some toiletries. They prayed with us and sent us on our way. I slept on a park bench in the national mall and got some stares and comments about being homeless. Those were interesting and definitely dehumanizing.
So when doing ministry, why don't we ask the people what they need. Even though we give them some gloves, scarves, and things like that, they only need those every once in a while... they have other needs. Also, I feel like we need to give them more than just our leftovers or things that we don't want.
It was a very good experience, and opened my eyes to the world around me. My thought processes have changed. Now to take what I have learned and apply it.
Find the face of God in everyone!

Understanding...

I have really been struggling with this. There are people that would rather sit down and argue and debate over theological crud instead of going out and helping people. Why would a Christian, a disciple of Christ argue over the little, insignificant stuff while there are people that are suffering and needing love... God's love? It just doesn't' make sense to me. I thought that was an older, more conservative thought that not many people were still stuck in today... but I stand corrected. I am worried about the upcoming church, my generation. There are people stuck in their ways unwilling to move and people that are overly open and have no boundaries and restrictions or beliefs for what they do. We really are in a pickle...

Here are some just random thoughts that I could flush out... but I just keep coming back to them...

• Jesus' followers must seek to submit every area of their lives to him, including their political views and economic choices.
• Why do Christians tend to shy away from those in need... homeless, crack addicts, alcoholics, violent people, rapists, and even victims of these.
• The task of Christians is to simply announce the Good News. We can't save anyone. It's God's job to save people. So we need to stop trying to and becoming burned out and depressed and give up... Love is an action and is what we are called to DO!

Interviews...

Today was another interesting day... just like all the others. We went to the University of Maryland to conduct some interviews, but conduct them in everyday conversations... this was extremely hard for me and extremely out of my comfort zone... however, I did. I met a girl named Jessica (ironic I know). She was not a Christian and was very post modern in her thinking. I have not had many opportunities to talk to people who have that strongly disagreed with the way that I think theologically. She didn't have an emphasis on the spiritual aspect of life in any way. It was all one man for themselves.
After that, we went to Arlington Church of the Nazarene. We talked about their ministry, which wasn't really theirs, but all networked through other churches. This isn't bad, I just felt like the balance was off a little. They do amazing work and are definitely impacting the world around them. Then we had a potluck with homemade food. It was incredible, especially since we have been eating out so much.. Well once again, all of this walking and thinking and debating is wearing me out physically and mentally. We have another ministry we are visiting tomorrow so I need to get rested...
God will provide the necessary resources for what he has called you to do! Never doubt God! & Women can be just as effective as men :)

Thoughts...

My mirror reflection... what does that mean? Who am I? Why am I the way that I am? Why do I believe what I believe? Is what I believe right?

Today was very interesting. I had many debates over certain topics. For example, can God use Muslims, Buddhists, etc.? I'm tired... but here is a quick overview of my day. We went to Community of Hope in DC. It was originally founded by the Nazarene church. However, they have pulled a lot of their support and input because of bureaucratic issues, which may or may not be correct. We learned about their ministry and services it provides, and then we did some odd jobs around for them. I organized a paint/art closet with James and organized some papers and some others cleaned, organized books, and shredded papers. There is an after school program, but today of all days, they were over flooded with volunteers, so we were asked to get out of the way when that took place. That was a slight bummer, cause I was excited about that. Oh well!

Here are some final questions that are floating around in my head looking for an answer as I head to bed...
What is "the gospel"? What is salvation? What is ministry? What is evangelism? How do we define these is different social contexts and minister effectively?

N-Street Village

Well, today proved to be another interesting day. Full of theological conversations and wrestling with thoughts that I didn't even know existed. Here's a quick run down of my day: went to n-street village ministry (I'll explain later), visited the White House, ate pizza and had deep conversations, took a quick nap, got misled on the University of Maryland, had more discussions.. and eventually sleep!! N-Street Village Ministry is a ministry for only women designed to get them off the streets, away from addictions, if they have any, and to provide housing and community for those who can't. http://www.nstreetvillage.org/
Today really challenged my thought process. Everyone doesn't think like I do. I have known this, but sometimes I still expect it, or have an underlying presupposition. So, I have been dealing with how different people view sin, what does ministry mean, what is the Gospel and good news? What does incomplete mean (biblical and theological).
We as people cannot save others... we leave that up to the Holy Spirit and the grace of God. So we need to stop thinking that God needs us. He doesn't. We just can be used by him to do his work.
Right now... all my thoughts and ideas are racing around in my head, not making a whole lot of sense.. so I will work on organizing these and see if I can get it down on paper (or a computer screen)
God is love... how do we show that love in the way people need it most?